Pantsless Joe

Summary
Pantsless Joe is the valiant hero and one of two survivors of the Cincall Village Catastrophe. His wife has characterized him as "quite empty headed, and very blind". True to those words, Pantsless Joe managed to trek across a few dozen miles of wilderness to the nearest village, all with his pants around his ankles, with his wife in tow. Upon reaching the village, the onlookers gaped as what appeared to be a shambling mess of a human being sashayed through the streets. Bleeding heavily and missing and arm, with burns covering most of his torso, Joe gasped out what had happened to the shocked inhabitants. Reporting the murderous duo of elf scum and human sympathizer, a mob formed to track down the two, to no avail. Joe and his wife were given immediate medical attention, and only then did anyone realize his ragged, torn and burnt pants were not in fact, around his waist, but rather around his feet.